31 Dec Q & A on ‘Balanced State of Mind’ at the Satsang, 30th Dec 2012
The topic for the English Satsang on Sunday, 30th December, 2012 was ‘Balanced State of Mind.’
Following is the transcript of the Q & A between the audience and Dr. Jayadeva Yogendra and Smt. Hansaji Yogendra.
Q. Adjustment is better then argument. But people face problems not because of violence of bad people, but silence of good people. So is adjustment good?
Dr. Jayadeva: See, understanding that there are larger laws that govern life is very necessary. We in our limited manner set out these laws and all others have to follow. There, difficulties come.
Smt. Hansaji: When we talk about non-reactive behaviour and avoiding a situation, it does not mean you sit quietly. Good has to be strong and vigorous; it has to be sincere, because you have a duty towards others, towards society, nation and humanity. So avoid the situation, but how to handle these things, whom to tell, how to see that such things are inculcated right from the education, from the family, many areas. We have to work very silently. Here Chanakya says that people should not even come to know that you are doing something. So you should make sure that such elements are taken care of, but no one should be able to make out. But such activities should go on. You should not remain silent or not bother.
Q. Anger is so spontaneous. How to control it?
Dr. Jayadeva: Go into a bathroom and go on abusing someone and go away.
Smt. Hansaji: Once anger comes, you cannot control it. It is the prevention that you don’t get angry only. That much wisdom we should have. We should know that if I get angry, it is going to harm me. Only an ignorant person gets angry. A wise person never gets angry. Look at Christ, what balance inspite of all the torture. Once anger comes, it means it has overpowered you. So work has to be done on it early and if you are angry, Dr. Jayadeva’s solution is very clear, don’t show your anger to anybody. That is very wrong because you will have to face the consequences. Go to the bathroom, shout it out, pour some cold water on your head, find out how to cope up and come out level headed and face the person. Some people sing in the bathroom, some hit a pillow and express their anger on it, but not on a human being, go out for a walk, run and come back. Handle your anger yourself, it is your problem, nobody else’s.
Q. How come we learn bad habits easily?
Dr. Jayadeva: Well, it is very very hard. We have not made an attempt to distinguish right from wrong, we have not tried to cultivate the right things. So what comes easily is anger, hatred, jealousy and we act on that.
Smt. Hansaji: That is the alarming thing, that is how we are. We catch the wrong things very easily. If someone uses foul language, a child picks it up immediately but not a good word. This is our tendency from childhood. Never become lax and think that now you know everything and wrong things will not come. They can come any time. And so, yoga is nothing else but the path of awareness. Remain aware, remain conscious about what thoughts are coming, whom you are meeting, what things you have started liking, what you have started hating. You have to remove all this. Work on yourself all the time.
Q. How to keep our mind balanced when our parents say no for everything?
Dr. Jayadeva: You see, that is a prejudice. They don’t say no for everything. There also things for which they have said yes, but we don’t remember them.
Smt. Hansaji: Have patience. They are taking care of you, they are looking after you. You don’t make it difficult for them, they will have problems. Be a little understanding. So first of all, see to it that you listen, but then whatever you want to do, you pursue or do it with some love. Find out how to go about it, make them understand why you want to do it, scientifically. Parents are not mad, they also have understanding. Keep a little patience or talk to them through somebody whom they listen to and who has understood you. But patience and perseverance is required and you will succeed.
Q. What should one do to keep a balanced state of mind? If yoga does not help in keeping a balanced state, then what to do?
Dr. Jayadeva: Keep listening to such lectures as these repeatedly.
Smt. Hansaji: Keep trying. Yoga can bring a balanced state of mind. There are many people who have come here who used to get very angry or worried but now they don’t. Keep walking on the path and change will come.
Q. How does one maintain a balanced state of mind when the future seems uncertain and unknown?
Dr. Jayadeva: Why should we get unbalanced if the future is known or unknown? What has to happen will happen. How we will handle it, what we will do, is what should be thought of.
Smt. Hansaji: Who knows the future? We don’t know what will happen in the next moment. So why do you think about that and become imbalanced? Stop thinking and learn to live in the present and for the future, have faith. Till now things have worked out fine, so in the future also good will happen. The treatment of fear is faith. That only humans can do, animals can’t do. Animals always live in fear because any time a larger animal can come and pounce on them. They don’t have this element of thinking, analysing, while we humans have and we should see that we develop more faith. At least stop thinking and learn to live in the present. That will keep you happy.
Q. How does reading spiritual books help in balanced state of mind?
Dr. Jayadeva: Continuous reading, listening, thinking helps. We require repetitive instructions just like a student. We have to read and read and read and that’s how we understand it.
Smt. Hansaji: These things have to go into our subconscious. So we have to read and repeat it again and again and that is how it forms an impression. How many times we must have read ‘A for Apple.’ Yoga is an education of the subconscious. Your personality, nature and habits have to change and that is subconscious. And for that we have to repeatedly do that. But reading is a very passive activity. Now here you have listened, but later you have to think about how to apply into your life. So reading, listening, thinking, analysing, and then experiencing – bring in a very small change and experience it.
Q. How does a person make a correct decision when he/she is in two minds?
Dr. Jayadeva: Well, toss a coin.
Smt. Hansaji: My trick is, sleep over it. Then follow the first thought that comes. Don’t start analysing again. Start moving in your life.