02 May Secret to Happy Marriage
In our present culture, marital I disharmony and disputes have become common. Instead of understanding and solving problems, one tends to take easy way of separation. Yoga helps one to understand the role of the ‘I’ sense. Everyone is trying to project the I-sense and each one has his own idea. But it is only when one leaves the ‘I’, does one gain the sense to transform marriage into a fruitful association.
Marriage is a union of two individuals and each one needs to trust in the larger process behind this institution. In a marital relationship, the couple has to understand that each one is still independent and has to be responsible for self. Yoga teaches to decrease the egoistic tendencies. While Asanas generate humility, the practice of Yamas and Niyamas help too. The essence is to ‘let go’ our own self and accept something larger. The husband-wife have to let go their egos.
If each individual sticks to his ego, then the problems arise. The remedy i s to surrender to the result of God. In acceptance, the ‘I’ sense does not come. Each individual has his own view and respects it too. It is also important to understand that every individual has separate needs, values and outlook which also varies distinctly among man and woman. The main task is to remove the I-sense. If the person continues, by not giving respect to the other, one’s own I-sense will be inflated and he will not be ready to bend at any cost. The key lies in accepting your spouse as he/she is and make no attempt to change him/her.Ruled by ego, a spouse will only keep finding faults in the other. But if the I-sense is removed, then it is easy to maintain love, respect and care in this beautiful relationship. Some people fear committing to marriage because of the looming, expensive risk of divorce.
A happy family is the basic unit of a society. Wedlock can be a trying association unless one believes in the institution of marriage and never lets anything disturb it. In our culture, many customs and traditions are established which keeps a couple from running away from marriage. Partners not only have to make decisions, but they have to support them too. One can think of possibilities that can occur and then gear up with preventive measures. It is by neglecting the institution of marriage that one gets tense and invites trouble.
In this day and age, living very independently from each other also takes away connection and joy from the relationship. Couples must function as a team when it comes to parenting, household duties, financial responsibilities, and social commitments too. A couple needs to be in tandem with each other at emotional as well as intellectual level and assure supporting actions too. A successful marriage is driven by unconditional love as well as unwavering commitment, faith and trust. Small thoughts and actions go a long way to strengthen a marriage.
For eg., Dr. Jayadeva always keeps a throat lozenge in his pocket whenever we are giving lectures as he is aware that I often need it due to long hours of talking. Also in my opinion if a wife knows that her husband is forgetful, she must ensure they celebrate their wedding anniversary happily. She can do this by reminding her husband well in advance and make necessary arrangements herself, instead of waiting for him to forget and then pounce on him with anger and lose the game too. Happy family life is the heart of the Indian culture.
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