DRAWING A LINE by Sudha N. Desai
Rani’s husband used to admire her qualities of cleanliness and
meticulousness. He often praised her in front of his friends and
colleagues. She used to keep the house spic and span. Everything would
be in its place. Clothes neatly ironed, the children’s toys properly
kept in the cupboards, the kitchen clean and the toilets dry. She was
as if obsessed with this cleanliness.
Over a period of time her husband started getting irritated with this
obsession of his wife. He would come home tired from work and would
wish to relax for sometime, but Rani would insist on his removing his
shoes outside the house and washing and drying his feet before entering.
Even after this, she would not like him to rest his feet on the table.
Every time he put down the newspaper after reading it, Rani would insist
that he folds it neatly and keeps it serially on the cupboard. She
would not let him lie down on his bed until he changed into his night
clothes.
She would be so busy cleaning and keeping things in order that she would
not even sit by her husband’s side when he had his dinner. Rani’s
children too found it very difficult to keep up to her standard of
cleanliness and orderliness. Her husband started getting irritated with
her obsession as a result of which, he started staying away from his
house for longer periods of time. He spent more time with his friends
and would come home late. Gradually things came to such a pass that he
was unable to even stand the annoying look that his wife gave him every
time he did something that was not to her liking. He was looking for a
way to get out of this.
Fortunately for him, one of his friends suggested to him to visit The
Yoga Institute and meet Smt. Hansaji. He accepted the suggestion and
took an appointment with Smt. Hansaji. He brought his wife Rani along
for the meeting and explained the entire situation.
Smt. Hansaji wanted to speak to Rani in private and asked her husband to
wait outside. She told Rani to close her eyes and relax for sometime.
She then told her to visualize her house – all neat and clean, spic and
span, everything in order, everything all right except, that she was the
only on living there and her husband and children were absent. The
smile that had begun to come upon Rani’s face slowly faded away. Smt.
Hansaji next told her to visualize her house – slightly untidy, messy
and not up to her standards, but, with her husband and children happily
living with her. Smt. Hansaji now asked Rani to open her eyes and to
narrate her feelings.
While narrating her feelings Rani broke into tears. She realized how
difficult and foolish she was behaving. She said that she valued her
family more than her cleanliness. She realized that cleanliness is
good, but one has to draw a line a and know one’s limit. Inspite of all
the dusting and cleaning in one’s house, it is bound to get dirty again.
One cannot keep cleaning it the whole day. Smt. Hansaji explained to
her that what is more important is cleanliness at the mental level.
Obsession about external cleanliness, beyond a point, makes the mind
negative, which in turn makes others around you unhappy. On the other
hand, a positive and clean mind ensures happiness all around.
Thus, Rani learnt a simple lesson from Smt. Hansaji, which saved her
marriage and family from breaking down.
Published in the October 2010 edition of Yoga & Total Health Magazine.
By Sudha N. Desai
Rani’s husband used to admire her qualities of cleanliness and meticulousness. He often praised her in front of his friends and colleagues. She kept the house spic and span—everything in its place, clothes neatly ironed, the children’s toys properly arranged in the cupboards, the kitchen clean, and the toilets dry. She seemed almost obsessed with cleanliness.
Over time, however, her husband began to feel irritated by this obsession. After returning home tired from work, he wished to relax, but Rani would insist that he remove his shoes outside the house and wash and dry his feet before entering. Even then, she would not allow him to rest his feet on the table. Every time he put down the newspaper, she would make him fold it neatly and place it in order on the cupboard. She even insisted that he change into night clothes before lying down on the bed.
Rani was so busy cleaning and organizing that she would not sit beside her husband while he ate his dinner. Her children, too, found it difficult to live up to her strict standards of cleanliness and orderliness. As a result, her husband grew increasingly frustrated. He started spending more time with his friends, coming home late, and eventually avoiding her critical looks and constant reminders. Matters reached a point where he could hardly tolerate being at home.
One of his friends suggested he visit The Yoga Institute and meet Smt. Hansaji. He accepted the suggestion, booked an appointment, and brought Rani along to explain their situation.
Smt. Hansaji asked to speak with Rani in private. She first told Rani to close her eyes and relax. Then, she guided Rani to visualize her home—neat, clean, spic and span, everything in perfect order—but with her husband and children absent. The smile that had appeared on Rani’s face slowly faded.
Next, Smt. Hansaji asked her to visualize her house as slightly untidy and not up to her standards, but with her husband and children happily living with her. When Rani opened her eyes and narrated her feelings, she broke into tears.
She realized how difficult and unreasonable her behavior had become. She admitted that she valued her family far more than her obsession with cleanliness. She understood that while cleanliness is important, one must know where to draw the line. No matter how much dusting and cleaning is done, the house will inevitably get dirty again—one cannot spend the whole day cleaning.
Smt. Hansaji explained that what matters most is cleanliness of the mind. An obsession with external cleanliness, beyond a point, makes the mind negative and creates unhappiness for others. On the other hand, a positive and clean mind ensures joy and harmony in the household.
Rani learned a simple but profound lesson from Smt. Hansaji—a lesson that saved her marriage and preserved the happiness of her family.
Published in the October 2010 edition of Yoga & Total Health Magazine.