The topic for the English Satsang on Sunday, 26th May, 2013 was ‘Brahmacharya.’ (Continence)
Following is the transcript of the speech made by Smt. Hansaji Yogendra on the topic.
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Listen to the Audio:
“A Brahmachari is a person who is not married. But I remember when I was learning my classical singing, a boy who was 30 or 32 years old used to come there and the teacher said that he should marry now and not remain a Brahmachari. And the boy laughingly said ‘I am not a Brahmachari. I am Avivahit (unmarried) but not a Brahmachari.’
Marrying or not marrying is not the issue. The issue is the state of mind. And if a person is living a very selfish life – me, mine, my pleasure, my money, my comforts, etc, he is going to get into an imbalanced state because somewhere this would make him so selfish that he can’t tolerate little things in life, can’t adjust, gets irritated, becomes such a perfectionist that he demands from others the same perfectionism.
A person with very high ego is of no use to the society. He has come, he is born, has lived his life and is gone. So this is not what a person should aim at. A person has to understand that he has to live a life where he has to become more useful to others, to society, nation and humanity. And because of that, a system was made in our country where the first 25 years of life, you devote your time in studying and gaining more knowledge about life and so on. The next 25 years of life, a person has to shift from ‘me’ to ‘us’ and then the focus will be our duties towards wife, children, parents, etc. Until this doesn’t happen, there is no development.
A good householder is equal to a thousand Sanyasis. A householder Yogi can be a good Sanyasi because when living in a household, his mind does not wander here and there; his life is focussed and he doesn’t live for himself but for others and this is what makes him the superior human being. I don’t know how many of you have seen Sanyasis moving around, the Naga Babas in the Kumbh Melas and many others, they have iPods, mobiles and television with them; not interested in self control, self-realization and God realization. They are more like beggars. Dr. Jayadeva’s father, Founder Shri Yogendraji used to hate all the Sanyasis, with few clothes, big Tikkas, Rudraksha garlands and all that stuff and living a life which is totally dependant on others. They are a burden to society. Anyway, there are vices in every kind of group.
But what would be more safe for self development is to be a householder. This system was a very good system but is now breaking in the current times. Marriage is becoming difficult, two people cannot adjust with each other, both have very strong views, both individuals have become self-sufficient as far as money is concerned but not otherwise. Every human being needs others in life. So we cannot claim that we don’t need anyone. It is important to register this point and start learning to live a life from ‘me’ to ‘we.’
These days there are a lot of attractions and pleasure seeking areas. Even food incites excitement. I see young school going children who drink alcohol and smoke at least twice or thrice a week. They have relationships with each other and then go through a lot of frustrations when relationships don’t work out. Life is not so easy. You can’t just do whatever you feel like doing or get what you want. Rather, the best thing is to not desire, not expect anything and lead a very organized and systematic life. And so, in the first 25 years, a person should focus one’s energy on education and not let the mind waver. Children who are into a combination of study with sport or music, or dance or art, etc. are very focussed and rarely get tempted by vices.
The problem comes when we don’t learn to do this in the first 25 years of our life. Then things like extramarital relationships etc. destroy the identity of a person. This leads to frustration, no matter what you do. If you cannot live with each other, adopt the policy of ‘live and let live.’ There was a lady whose husband was having extramarital relationships. I asked her, ‘Do you love him or not?’ She said ‘I love him and will always love him.’ So she should continue doing her duty as a wife and not bring in negativity because he goes to someone else. ‘If he can’t see love in you, it is his problem, not yours.’ People cannot digest this advice of mine. But those who have followed it have been really successful because they don’t choose to suffer because of others in life and come to the level of self-upliftment. When this comes, there is no fear about what will happen to children, etc.
In today’s age it is difficult to understand our position when families are breaking up but still I believe if a person learns to handle themselves they will grow and learn a lot. So the point is control over all your sensory, pleasure seeking organs. If you like something a little too much, keep away from it. Yoga says, don’t get into anything in excess, let it be food or relationships or feelings, etc. In householdership, grow with your spouse and children but without attachments. So let us tread carefully in this modern world and progress in life.”