24 Feb Hansaji on ‘Inter-personal Relations’ at the Satsang (24th Feb 2013)
The topic for the English Satsang on Sunday, 24th February, 2013 was ‘Inter-personal Relations.’
Following is the transcript of the speech made by Smt. Hansaji Yogendra on the topic.
Listen to the Audio:
“Today’s topic is about how one person should maintain relations with another. This is an important thing to understand. Here every individual has to work hard because every person is different. Even men and women are very different. One person thinks with the heart while the other with the mind. One person believes in togetherness while another is interested in being alone immersed in work.
Firstly, every person should start seeing things from different angles. It is easy to find faults in everything. But now we have to see the good in everything and every person. When our perception changes, we will not have much problems with others. Every person needs live and to hear good words, and they think they have brains and so they don’t need advice. This kind of environment is everywhere, even at home. And we forget that the other person does not like to hear they are wrong. They will react and can break the relationship. These days the listening capacity and tolerance has become very less. And so we have to be very careful that when we open our mouth, we talk only good or keep the mouth closed, just smile. Smile is necessary. Show that you appreciate and respect the person.
Chanakya has used a very strong statement ‘Durjanam Prathamam Vande’- First greet the bad person. When you enter a room which has some of your friends and some of your enemies or critics, you would first tend to say Hi to your friends. But Chanakya says that is wrong. The people who cannot see good in you, should be bowed down to you and you must respect them for who they are. It does not matter to your friends whether you greet them, but you should express to the enemy that you are relaxed no matter what they say. When the other person says something bad, you should feel Karuna (empathy) for them because they might be disturbed by something. And hear them out respectfully and say, ‘You are right.’ Do not get disturbed. Why get disturbed because of others’ disturbance. Uplift yourself. Feel from inside that he is right from his angle.
God teaches us so much through nature. We accept a dog’s barking and howling as its nature. It is the same with humans. There are varieties of people even in the same family. We can’t expect that everybody should behave sweetly, respect each other, come on time, work hard, etc. That is not possible. So somehow, we have to see good in everyone and not get disturbed by anyone. And stop advising. Some people are like children, if you tell them not to do something, they will do it even more. By chance if we go for a movie that has too much violence, we have nothing to gain from it. Study the camera angle, look for something good in it. We have to be clever about these things and work hard for it. Let us all do that.
We need people around us, not machines. With too many gadgets, there is depression increasing in people because there is no human contact. That is only possible when we accept the good in everyone and live together. So think on this. This topic is very deep, it requires experience and focus on our own qualities also. In 1973, Dr. Jayadeva put forth this idea that we at the Institute are Sadhakas. Those who are interested in spirituality, health, concept of duties, they should keep meeting, sharing and doing some activities together. And it is happening here. So many Sadhakas are contributing to the running of the Institute. Good things happen when each individual contributes in their own way. So in each relationship, instead of expecting, find out what you can give. And if nothing else, then at least you can give a smile or kind words. Then only will good relations be maintained. If not, then speak less. Let is try this.”