Hansaji talking on ‘Change Yourself’

“We all understand the philosophy that the material world continuously undergoes a change and it’s a change we do not enjoy. We are unable to fathom the idea that a child that loved me yesterday, does not want to speak to me today or that a couple that spent so much time with each other in the initial years have no time for each other today due to different priorities. Let’s accept that the world will change and any likes / dislikes that I have are my problem. At the end of the day, my inability to change / adapt myself with the changing times will harm me, make me redundant / unwanted. It is extremely important to understand the root cause of the change happening around and then change myself accordingly. For example, a young child that plays in my lap will grow to walk. I cannot want the child to play in my lap forever. This is a law of nature. If I can accept this change and enjoy the change, I will be a happier person.

Change is Nature’s law. Let’s learn to enjoy this change. It is natural for a seed to grow into a shrub then into a tree bearing fruits. All these are changes which we should learn to enjoy. Ultimately the fruit will fall, the tree will become barren again. Can we enjoy every change instead of demanding that the fruits do not fall or the flowers do not wither away? Such demands are impossible to meet since this is Nature’s law and there is no way around it. Similarly, let’s learn to enjoy the changes happening every moment around us.

It’s generally observed that we do learn too but after a lot of pain and unhappiness. Yoga says that unless a man is thoroughly down in the dumps, he will not change himself. Pain teaches us to change. If I have pain in one arm, only then will I learn to use the other arm and use the painful one only when most necessary. Thus physical pain teaches us how to take care of our body and live accordingly. Similarly, emotional pain also teaches us how to deal with others and the circumstances around us. An illustration I very frequently share in my classes, is of how we learn to live with a dog. We learn and understand what may provoke the dog to bark or bite and we avoid doing those acts, similarly, can we not learn and understand other human beings accordingly? We should learn to love our family and friends and learn what annoys them so that we do not do it and therefore avoid conflict with them and live happily.

Let’s develop this understanding and not get disturbed by anything. A disturbance in me will invoke pain in some form to me, physical or emotional, so let’s maintain our balanced state of mind and try to follow the four pillars – Ahara, Vihar, Achar, Vichar – in our life as much as possible. Please understand that any disease / disturbance / unhappiness that you experience is due to your own self / lifestyle and you need to bring a change within yourself / your lifestyle to be able to rid yourself of that. The fault lies within and not in the external world. Nature is teaching us the very same thing every moment every day. Change yourself. Do not try to change others.

A couple visited us once, the wife complained that the husband snored while sleeping leading to her being unable to sleep. We advised her to practise Nispandbhava – where one learns to be neutral to the external sounds. If the husband wakes up fresh then the fault lies not with the husband but with the wife. Wife was also advised to eat a light meal at night. Gradually she could adapt and sleep well. At a later time, the husband attended the 7 Day Health Camp at the Institute and after 4 days of following a disciplined routine along with Sattvic food and practice of Kriyas, he too was able to sleep without snoring. This illustration explains to us very clearly how we can improve ourselves by attempting minor changes within.”