Hansaji Talking on ‘Yoga and Interpersonal Relationships’

“Everything has been very nicely explained in the presentation today. The point to remember is that each of us is unique and no other person is like us. What you may be able to think may not be possible for someone else. And God is great, he has designed that opposites come together, that varieties come together… it is a test to learn to live with it.

The formula is very clear…

1. Accept everyone as they are. Acceptance means not expecting from others, not trying to change others, not to advise others, not trying to find logic and reasoning in others. Usually we tend to reason with situations. For example, if I did ‘x’, then you should have done ‘z,’ etc. There is no “I” and “you”. It is “We” who should work together as a team. We have to work on ourselves and not on others. Yoga focuses only on self-improvement. What is my role in any given situation? What can I do to resolve the situation? If I am unable to co-exist and love another person, then how can I hope to reach God? Because, we are all Gods’ creations and unless we are able to rise above such petty issues, we cannot reach Him.

2. Try to do your best in the same situation as per your capacity. Do not expect others to do it; you do it. So take charge of yourself. Master your own self. Concentrate on your job well. Again, we may think that if I have done ‘x’, you should do ‘y’. Life is not a business. If I have given Rs.100 to you, I will take back Rs.100 from you only – this is business. But this does not happen in everyday life. If I have given something to X, then it is not necessary that I will receive the same from X only; I will receive it from somewhere else in the same and more proportion. So learn to give, do your best towards others. When we are able to develop such a quality, then we will be able to manage with anybody. I always say that two opposite people can live together under the same roof. There is the famous example of a Japanese Prime Minister who was lived happily together with his family of more than a hundred in number on how they managed to do so. The PM filled an entire sheet of paper with just one word – Patience. If you can be patient then you can live with anyone. Reacting, demanding, reasoning, using logic, expecting, etc. will not work in our relationships but patience will work wonders. Try it.

3. Be detached. Do not have a strong opinion about anything in life. Opinions will change with time, age, situations and priorities in life. Learn to view things objectively not subjectively. Try to experience the Vairagya Bhava. Learn to view situations from the view of a third person, not yourself or the other person in your situation – develop a witness like attitude – then one may be able to understand what is possible in the given situation and take action accordingly.

Therefore, in all areas, we have to learn to charge of ourselves and work accordingly to uplift ourselves. We should be happy and satisfied with ourselves and with doing our part in the given world. We should be able to find our role in any given situation, however difficult it may be and contribute to it positively. So start and see for yourself that you will be able to manage with everybody.”