How to deal with negative gossip?
Games we play! Yes, games …as kids’ I still remember a very nice lesson. Our teacher taught the “Chinese Whisper Game.” To refresh the mind, the teacher makes the students sit in a circle and then whispers one sentence in one kid’s ear and then all have to do the same one by one whispering the same sentence in the next The mind’s ear. In the end, the last kid will speak out the sentence. When the last kid spoke the sentence which was a totally different sentence that teacher gave we use to LOL (laugh out loud)
The Whisper Game
Gossiping and our ability to listen and interpret negativity are remarkable. Valuable lesson learned as kids yet as grown-ups the wisdom is long lost or forgotten! As grown-ups, each one of us has ‘up the ante’ in terms of gossip to insurmountable levels. Makes me wonder the consciousness of our board is indeed turning blacker (if it is possible). Think about it for a bit. When was the last time while dropping off your kids at school or while attending your yoga class or might be a chance run in with an old friend you did not indulge in any negative gossip about someone? No denying the fact that every one of us is guilty. No no… including you (Karma saw that)!
We could all learn from a famous Greek philosopher Socrates (469 – 399 BC)
One fine day an associate ran up to him eagerly & said, “Socrates, do you happen to know what I just heard about your student?”
Socrates calmly replied, “Before you tell me, I would like you to pass a small test. It is the Threefold Filter Test.”
Socrates continued. “Before you speak to me about my student, let us take a minute to filter what you are going to say. The first filter is Veracity. Are you absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”
The man hesitantly said, “No, actually I just heard about it and…”
“Okay,” said Socrates “So you do not really know for sure if it’s true or not. Now let us try the second filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something positive or good?”
“No, on the contrary…”
“So,” Socrates continues, “you wanted to tell me something bad about him, even though you are not sure if it is true?” The man is embarrassed. Socrates continues, “You might still pass the last test – the third filter of Usefulness. Is what you wanted to tell me about my student going to be useful to me on any front?”
The man replies, “No, not really”
“Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you wanted to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why bother to tell it to me at all?”
The man was beaten and ashamed. This is the reason why Socrates was hailed as a great philosopher and held in high veneration.
This is how you should deal with negative gossip.
Labeling, name calling, scrutinizing other people’s lives and problems you name it and you got it! We have taken the guile of gossiping to a whole new level and we no longer filter any information. We have become more of contributors and facilitators or fictional writers I would say. So let us make an effort to clean the blackboard of our consciousness and make it a point to clean it regularly. Dedicate that amount of time in self-development.
Recommended yogic tips to steer clear of negative gossip
- Make an effort to speak less each day. Speak only when required.
- Try to make an effort to use minimal words when asked for something.
- Practice Mauna for a fixed time for at least 5 minutes every day.
- Keep the company of positive people.
- Learn a new skill or craft or pursue a hobby of your choice.
- The mind should be engaged in some new learning or self-development project.
- Yogic techniques such as reflection, meditation, conscious relaxation are a good way to unwind and de-stress.