26 May Q&A on ‘Ahimsa’
The topic for the English Satsang on Sunday, 25th May, 2014 was ‘Ahimsa.’
Following is the transcript of the Q & A between the audience and Smt. Hansaji J. Yogendra.
Listen to the audio:
Q. Which technique should be used to manage anger?
Smt. H: There are many techniques. Some people, when angry, lock themselves in the bathroom and start singing. Some people just go for a run for 1 or 2 Kms and come back. Some people take a cold bath, some go for shopping but don’t buy anything. Some do some Asanas, Pranayama or meditation. There are various ways, every human will have to find out for themselves what helps them overpower their anger immediately. But something has to be done. Any yoga technique will help. Do Jalneti, then automatically the mind will settle down. Find out according to the time and situation what you can do. If your boss is shouting, you can do Yogendra Pranayama IV, which he will not be able to see. Main thing is bring some compassion, understand and love for the opposite person in your mind and don’t react.
Q. My wife watches TV serials and recounts them with me. What can be done about this?
Smt. H: Let her enjoy the TV serials. There was a couple here whose daughter kept watching TV serials. They were advised to sit in the same room and do some other activities, like sharing jokes or playing games. The girl started noticing this. She ultimately stopped watching TV and joined them. So instead of telling someone not to do something, tell them what to do. It is easy to say ‘Don’t do it.’ but that doesn’t solve the problem.
Q. How to keep cool with an argumentative wife?
Smt. H: Dr. Jayadeva is saying, ‘I don’t have that experience!’ Anyway, if the wife is arguing, tell her ‘You are very right, how sweet you are.’ Why should you argue? The problem arises when both are arguing. Stoop to conquer, it is a very wise statement. No one should even realize that you are getting irritated. Slowly use some strategies that could help convert the other person. Praise the person and say good things about them.
Q. Thanks to my 18-year-old daughter, we always get late everywhere we go. How to accept?
Smt. H: My school was based on the Gandhian principles and our Principal used to follow Ahimsa very strongly. So if any student used to come late, they had to go in front of the whole assembly and explain why they were late. They would give many different excuses and people would laugh at them. This used to shame them and they stopped coming late. You could use certain strategies like saying that ‘If you come on time, I will give you something.’ Sometimes, explain with love and say ‘For my sake, please come early.’ We don’t believe in punishing big children. But you could give yourself a punishment, such as if she comes late, you will not go out, you will stay at home. Or you can explain to them logically why they should be on time.
Q. I find it very difficult to live in the present moment. Either I am thinking of what has happened or what is going to happen. How to overcome this weakness?
Smt. H: Dr. Jayadeva’s formula is to just sing. It helps to stay in the present. Keep the mind busy in some work, go out, do some creative work. Free mind is the devil’s workshop. To such people I say, don’t keep any servant at home. Clean the house yourself and you wont find the time to think about the past and future.