13 Oct Q&A on ‘Overcoming Our Ego’
The topic for the Hindi Satsang on Sunday, 13th October, 2013 was ‘Overcoming Our Ego.‘
Following is the transcript of the Q & A between the audience and Dr. Jayadeva Yogendra and Smt. Hansaji Yogendra.
Listen to the audio:
Q. These days my wife keeps asking me why I don’t smile. What shall I do?
Dr. J: After listening to this lecture, you will smile because you will not think ‘I, me, mine’ all the time.
Smt. H: The joy is in living for others. We should not say, this is me, this is my personality and I will not smile. We should learn to smile. It’s not much to ask for. One should make a conscious effort. Be relaxed, think that God is great, accept her and smile.
Q. How can energy come inspite of bad qualities?
Dr. J: Bad qualities are controlled for sometime by good qualities and then the good qualities in the nature of energy come.
Smt. H: There aren’t only bad qualities. Even good qualities are there. So whenever bad qualities are reduced, you get tremendous energy to do some good.
Q. How to know the ego? How to convert it into love?
Dr. J: I think this ego is quite well known. Any interaction will create this ego.
Smt. H: Love is visible through caring. Hugging and kissing is nothing. What is needed is caring. You care, are concerned, you are sincere. This is how you show your love. So if you care, everything happens on its own. So instead of always being busy with your own life, your own peace and time table, learn to live for others, according to their time table and likes and dislikes.
Q. Can we achieve an egoless state? If yes, how?
Dr. J: All the Gods have that egoless state and we worship them.
Smt. H: Total egolessness can come only at such a state as Ravana’s (a character in the epic Ramayana) came only at the time of his death because some I-sense has to be there, otherwise you won’t remember who you are and what you are. The point is reducing ego to the minimum and total surrender to God should be done.
Q. How do we make (Lord) Rama a part of our life (symbolically)?
Dr. J: If we have true love in us, then it is easy to achieve. But love is not there and so it does not happen.
Smt. H: Lord Rama is with us, but we have forgotten about it. Spend some time with yourself and automatically you will be more in connection with God.
Q. Where is the thin line between self-respect and ego?
Dr. J: Self-respect is related to understanding oneself and being poised. Ego is negative, is pushing yourself and as a result is active and egoistic.
Smt. H: As Dr. Jayadeva rightly said, self-respect is nothing but understanding yourself. You should know who you are. See that you go on perfecting yourself, reducing your own ego and ignorance, that is self-respect management. And when you know that you are not perfect and accept and respect yourself, you should know that you can also make mistakes. Ego is when you expect something from the external world or even from yourself. You expect something more from yourself than what you are, that’s where the ego comes in. So one is knowledge and the other is ignorance. That’s the difference.
Q. How to deal with very egoistic people every day?
Dr. J: Not to talk to them.
Smt. H: My policy is, if they are in the house, we have to face them in and out. Keep away, reduce contact, because you have to deal with your ego in the first place and then to deal with someone else’s ego will be too much to handle. But with such persons, tell them ‘You are right.’ Don’t argue or fight with them. Their ego needs to be boosted, then they will be happy, otherwise they are unhappy. So you must always tell them how great they are and keep them happy. That’s how you deal with them. But don’t counter attack or say something contrary to what they are saying. That will create a problem.
Q. Is ‘I-Sense’ a Rajasic quality? If yes, how to convert this into a Sattvic quality?
Dr. J: Think well of the others, believe in God. All this will help.
Smt. H: Yes, ego is Rajasic, always ready to attack and fight. It is also Tamasic – getting hurt. It has to be converted to Sattvic state. So all things like faith in God, becoming aware of your own actions, all that has to come in.
Q. On meeting success in any work, the ‘I-Sense’ starts surfacing. How to curb it?
Dr. J: Not to remember that ‘I have succeeded.’
Smt. H: Not to say that ‘I have succeeded.’ That was just a passing phase. Remember this statement well that ‘This shall also pass.’ Today you are successful, tomorrow somebody else will be successful. So you don’t have to bring ego into it. If somebody can see good in you and somebody has praised you, he may have been in a good mood. If he criticizes, he is in a bad state. It has nothing to do with you. It is to do with the situation and happenings on which you have no control. So never be proud of your success.
Satsang is an open meeting held every Sunday from 9:30 to 10:30 am at The Yoga Institute, Santacruz East, Mumbai. It involves an interesting presentation to the public, made by the students of the Teacher Training Course. Each week, a new presentation of a Yogic concept is made in a simple way through skits and decoration for the general public, followed by a short speech from our Gurus, Dr. Jayadeva and Smt. Hansaji Yogendra.