26 Feb Q&A on ‘Yoga and Interpersonal Relationships’
The topic for the English Satsang on Sunday, 23rd February, 2014 was ‘Yoga and Interpersonal Relationships’
Following is the transcript of the Q & A between the audience and Dr. Jayadeva and Smt. Hansaji J. Yogendra.
Listen to the audio:
Q. I have misbehaved with my near and dear ones. How do I correct my mistakes?
Dr. J: Better than saying sorry would be, the next time, when you have to act, act in an understanding way, a kind way.
Smt. H: If it is clear that you have done wrong, it is necessary to say sorry and admit your mistake and be humble. But that is not enough. Just sit quietly and think as to why this happened to you? Were you overworked, or expecting more, or not sleeping well or not eating right? There could be many reasons for a lack of tolerance. A person can tolerate anything but tolerance becomes poor and reaction starts because somewhere our state is bad. So saying sorry is very right, that is the beginning because that keeps the door open for all. But doing some research and seeing that you don’t make the mistake again, that’s where yoga comes into the picture.
Q. What do we mean by the term inter-personal relationship?
Dr. J: The relationships between ourselves, each other; it may be in the home, office, the road, anywhere.
Smt. H: The subject is, what is my relationship with others? It could be with family members, with anyone on the road, anywhere where I’m working; what is my role, my management with others? That is called inter-personal relationship.
Q. What should parents do when they see their children daily living their lives, spoiling their health and being unhappy and yet do not want their parents to interfere at all?
Dr. J: Don’t interfere. The children are growing and they learn by their mistakes. Let them learn.
Smt. H: So I should repeat – Parents should not interfere. You have taught your child till the age of 12. Till that age, you should, by some or the other means, little by force, little by love, little by barter and little by scientific way of putting it across, you should inculcate all these things. But above the age of 12, your child has started thinking on his own, he has his own ego, his own management. So interfering with child would be wrong. Parents’ role is to give a loving, helping hand when the child is suffering. That’s all a parent should do.
Q. We are a senior couple. Our only daughter who is married has two sons and is only interested in her own matters. She never bothers about our problems. How can I handle this relationship?
Dr. J: You don’t have problems. If you have problems, you are looking for help, don’t have problems.
Smt. H: Why do we want others to look at us? Why can’t you look at yourself? Yoga says that everybody should be totally self reliant. Live your life in such a way that your body is strong, your mind is strong. We are not born to suffer and be sick in life. Don’t think that in old age you always need help of others. And as they say, as you sow, so shall you reap. Go on having a good relationship with whosoever is there around you. But unfortunately, I have seen in many families that they want help and attention only from their family member, which is very wrong. Your family member may be busy with his/her own life. The point is, open up. Your family should be larger and larger as you grow older and older, not limited to one or two sons and daughters. So once you start living in this fashion, things are beautiful. Old age is not an age for suffering.
Satsang is an open meeting held every Sunday from 9:30 to 10:30 am at The Yoga Institute, Santacruz East, Mumbai. It involves an interesting presentation to the public, made by the students of the Teacher Training Course. Each week, a new presentation of a Yogic concept is made in a simple way through skits and decoration for the general public, followed by a short speech from our Gurus, Dr. Jayadeva and Smt. Hansaji Yogendra.